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Pride and self admiration and humility

Pride​

The Reality of Pride​

Allah revealed to Musa: "I only accept the prayer of a person who humbles himself due to My Greatness, does not exalt himself over My creations, fears Me, remembers Me throughout the day, and controls his desires for My sake."

Pride arises when someone sees themselves as superior in a way that feeds an inflated ego and a sense of satisfaction in this false belief. This pride appears outwardly through behaviors like sitting above others in gatherings, walking ahead, looking down on others, or feeling slighted if not greeted first or properly served. The proud person often rejects correction and looks down on others, denying the truth in debates and treating common people with disdain.

Pride is considered detestable for three main reasons:

  1. It competes with Allah for attributes unique to Him.
  2. It leads to denial of truth and disdain for others.
  3. It blocks all good qualities, making it impossible to love for others what one loves for oneself, to be humble, or to resist anger and arrogance.

Treating the Filthy Trait of Pride​

A core treatment for pride is self-awareness: understanding that we begin as a mere drop of fluid and end as a lifeless corpse, carrying physical impurities between these two states. This realization aids humility, reminding us of our insignificance before Allah and helping us focus during prayer by embracing our need for humility.

Treating Pride by Reflecting on Its Causes​

  1. Knowledge: The Prophet said, "The sickness of knowledge is conceit." True knowledge involves humility, realizing the risk of ending life in a poor state and recognizing that even the ignorant may be closer to Allah. Scholars have no guarantee of a good ending, so they should avoid arrogance and stay mindful of their flaws.
  2. Piety and Worship: Devout individuals can still harbor pride, sometimes seeing their blessings as signs of divine preference. A truly devout person remains humble, considering that others may possess inner virtues that Allah values more. They pray for Allah's acceptance of their deeds without assuming entitlement.
  3. Lineage: Pride in ancestry can be avoided by recalling that our origins are humble—a mere drop of fluid and, ultimately, earth. Pride in ancestry is baseless in the face of our true beginnings.
  4. Wealth, Beauty, and Followers: Pride based on these attributes is misguided since they are temporary and superficial. Wealth and followers are gifts, not inherent virtues, while beauty can quickly fade. Reflecting on one's inner imperfections can diminish such pride.

Self-Admiration​

The Reality of Self-Admiration​

Self-admiration is inflating one's attributes, forgetting that they are blessings from Allah, and feeling a sense of entitlement. This can lead to conceit, where one feels undeserving of challenges. Self-admiration often feeds pride, though pride targets others, while self-admiration focuses on oneself.

People may also erroneously believe they deserve more blessings simply because Allah granted them certain gifts. For example, if one is knowledgeable, one may question why Allah allows hardship or grants wealth to those less knowledgeable. This attitude is like someone who, having received one gift, feels entitled to another. Instead, one should marvel at Allah's grace and generosity and remain humble, knowing blessings are undeserved gifts, not entitlements.

Treatment of Self-Admiration​

Self-admiration stems from ignorance, and its treatment lies in knowledge. If someone admires their strength, wealth, or beauty, they should remember these are not of their making but gifts from Allah, and he should fear their loss. Such self-admiration is senseless, disregarding the true source of these blessings.

The Concept of Haya (Humility)​

Haya arises from recognizing our flaws and Allah's blessings, creating a sense of reverence and humility. True haya motivates us to avoid inappropriate actions and fulfill the rights of others.

Some Ways to Demonstrate Haya​

  • Responding Kindly to Others: Show respect by welcoming others, accepting invitations, and being gracious in interactions. Conceal their faults and offer help.
  • Avoiding Indecency: Dressing humbly and guarding actions, words, and thoughts from anything harmful or offensive.
  • Serving Humbly: Take on small tasks without pride, valuing humility in daily life.
  • Reverence for Allah: Obey sincerely and stay mindful of Allah's presence.

Shyness vs. Haya​

Certain situations demand confidence rather than shyness, such as seeking knowledge, applying for suitable roles, or enjoining good and forbidding wrong.

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It's important to keep in mind that Haya is nuanced and complex, encompassing shyness, shame, and modesty simultaneously, so it cannot be condensed to just one concept. However, humility is its most common interpretation and the opposite of this trait's excess, so it has been introduced here.